Some god-awful attempts at poetry

Written in a fit of poetic splurging during The Boy's naptime earlier today.  If there is any rhyme or reason to this, they represent Illness, Recovery and Parenthood.  Be gentle. 

Psycho world

The world is spinning away from me.

I hear voices I recognise, see faces I know,

But the harder I look, the more intently I hear,

The further and further they go.

The world is spinning away from me.

I've lost my grip on everything.

All that I know, all that I ever knew,

Has disappeared into a box marked 

"Nothing".

The world is spinning away from me.

The fear takes control of my head,

If I open my mouth, or reach out my hand,

I'll know for sure I am dead.

The world is spinning away from me.

The safest place to be is inside my head.

The best I dare hope for, the best case scenario,

Is that this is Hell and Earth continues on in my stead.

But slowly, so slowly...

The world begins to come back for me

The drugs gradually do their work.

Allowing my mind to realise

This was life after all, 

A hellish, dark, tortuous pit,

But specific to me and my worst fears,

And - thank goodness - not the end of life as we know it.

Survival

Nothing and no one can touch me now.

I've been to the back of beyond

The bottom of the pit

The arse-end of society.

I lost my dignity, my humanity.

But - guess what?

Life is not a one-shot game

You are allowed to fail.

Allowed to go back to the beginning

And start again.

The confidence that comes,

When you've reached the bottom

And survived.

Is unbeatable.

The knowledge that this gives,

The peace that comes from knowing

How futile keeping-up-appearances can be.

Is unshakeable.

Who can touch me now?

I'd like to see them try.

Come at me with words, deeds, targets, tests...

All of it matters less

Than the beauty of 

Survival.

Parenthood

It's not about who you become

How life changes

What it teaches us.

It's about the new person

You have introduced

Into the mix of life.

It's not about you any more

Your hopes and dreams fade

Into your tiny bundle of EVERYTHING.

It's about all of them

From their most basic need

To their most incredible dream.

It's everything for them,

Your unspoken word and

Your every waking thought.

It's parenthood, you see,

The circle of life if you like

-

And you won't mind one bit.