From SAHM to WAHM...

What have I done?!?

Only gone and got myself a local editor position at Mumsnet... The UK's most popular parenting website. 

Yikes.

It's all happened so fast.  One minute I was browsing Mumsnet, posting about my next PANDAS support group meeting.  I noticed on the sidebar that they were looking for a new "Local Editor" in my area. The next minute I was emailing in my CV, then a confirmation and partnership agreement! 

It's a self-employed position, building up the content and traffic of one of Mumsnet's local sites: chat, meet-ups, local events and activities.  I will earn money through the advertising revenue I generate for the site (a concept familiar, I'm guessing, to those parent bloggers who have successfully monetized their blogs).

It's an attractive role for me on a number of levels:

- I can finally use some of the business development skills I must have picked up while working at a Big 4 management consultancy 

- I can certainly use all my local mummy contacts and knowledge that I have built up during the last 18 months

- and (lastly but my no means least) I can work flexibly from home, around the needs of The Boy.

It's quite daunting, stepping into this world of online marketing, but I think I'm ready for the challenge.  I've really enjoyed using twitter, and starting this blog, over the last few months - so I see this as the next logical step.  I'm sure it won't be easy: being confident enough to approach businesses, ensuring a good mix of content on the site, networking with as many local parents and groups as possible.  But I really do think it will suit me.

Does anyone have any tips for making a successful transition from SAHM to WAHM?

The daily grind...

I flicked over to BBC2 last night, to watch the first part of a "Business Boomers" documentary series, on businesses which have flourished in spite (or because of) the recession.  Last night was all about coffee, and in particular the rise and rise of the coffee shop chains.

You can still catch "Coffee Shop Hot Shots" on iPlayer here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b040v3ld .

I watched it both as someone with a business interest (a plan to open an independent coffee shop of some description) and as someone who spends a fair bit of time, effort and money in pursuit of the perfect cup of coffee.

Here is a snapshot of just some of the coffee-related paraphernalia in my home:

Not to mention the various bits and bobs bought especially for the PANDAS support group (because in my humble opinion you cannot meet for a chat without a decent cuppa):

I squirmed in my seat as one of the opening statistics was read out by narrator Sandi Tolsvig: we coffee-clutching Brits can spend up to £2000 a year on our habit.  Yikes.  

As a stay-home mum I probably spend a lot less on takeaway cappuccinos than I did when I worked in the City.  But I do still insist on grinding my own beans at home, and making either cafetiere, filter or espresso (depending on mood and time of day).  I honestly cannot remember the last time I bought or used instant (although as a baker I do realise its usefulness as a baking ingredient).  This makes me sound (even more) like a horrible snob, but I'm afraid I'm addicted to good coffee and have no intention of quitting. 

The programme focused on the fortunes (literally) of the Big 3: Costa, Starbucks and Cafe Nero.  These chains are now ubiquitous on our high streets, with thousands of branches throughout the country.  Their annual profits run to hundreds of millions of pounds.  As local pubs have faced financial ruin, coffee shops have thrived.  I can see the merit of these places: they are well designed, were one of the first outlets to provide free WiFi, have a good range of drinks and food, and a "third place" vibe that is neither home nor office.   I am as partial to a frappucino as the next person, in a stifling London summer.

However.

There are some amazing independent coffee shops out there, roasting and sourcing incredible beans from around the world, working with local producers, using good quality milk and unrefined sugar.  These alternatives to the Big 3 are genuinely committed to the taste of the coffee, not just in creating the bland, inoffensive, watered-down offerings of the chains.  My favourite coffee shops in London include:

Monmouth Coffee (http://www.monmouthcoffee.co.uk )

Association Coffee (http://www.associationcoffee.com )

Four Corners Cafe (http://www.four-corners-cafe.com ).

It's pleasing to find them all included in this ingenious map of all the best coffee stops in London:

I'm not exaggerating to say it breaks my heart that my (very) local coffee shop in Kennington simply doesn't know how to make good coffee.  They have the friendly staff, comfy seats, perfect location - but I have stopped going there, just because I have never had a good cappuccino from them. If I ever plucked up the courage to tell them, I would give them the following (non expert) advice:

1. Buy good quality beans, in small quantities and replenish when needed.  In my house we tend to buy a 1kg bag every 3 or 4 weeks.  It's worth the special journey to Monmouth every so often, just to ensure the freshness of the beans.  Stay clear of vacuum packed beans that may have been sitting around for a while. 

2. Grind the beans fresh, every time.  I'm not sure why, but it does make a huge difference to the taste.  Never, never use pre-ground beans if you don't know exactly when they were ground.  Adjust the gauge of the grinder (if possible), depending on what method of coffee you are making.  Stove top espresso machines need finely ground beans.  Cafetieres benefit from thicker grinds.  Filter paper coffee needs something in between.

3.  Never burn or overheat your coffee.  If stovetop: switch off as soon as the espresso has dribbled through.  If cafetiere or filter: open the lid of the kettle and let the steam out prior to gently pouring over the grinds.

4. Pay as much attention to sourcing the milk, as you would the beans.  Skimmed milk is tasteless.  Full fat milk (or - whisper it - single cream, on occasion!) tastes much smoother and sweeter.  I'm not sure why, but organic milk from small farms does taste better and is worth paying a little extra for. 

5. Never, never, never overheat the milk.  If you have a milk frother, hold your hand against the jug until you can feel it warm to the touch.  If you are heating it on the hob, don't let it boil: turn off when you can see little bubbles form around the edge.

6. Know the difference between a cappuccino and a latte.  There is nothing more discouraging than ordering a cappuccino and receiving something that weighs twice as much as it should.  No, I really don't want to drink a pint of warm milk, I'm not six months old.  On this subject, take heed from Italy - cappuccinos there are half the size of the smallest Starbucks option! 

Happy coffee drinking! 

A sad but timely reality check

It had been on the cards for a while - temporary closure, stock sales, changing opening hours - but now it has finally come to pass: Eat Play Love, the amazing family cafe in Battersea is closing for good next week.

Happy memories will be left, but also a massive void for the families of Battersea.

Their Facebook announcement today was heartbreaking.
"It's complicated". The reasons why we've taken this decision are complex.  But we have no doubt that the family cafe concept and business model are fundamentally sound - unfortunately it takes 2-3 years to establish a new business, especially one where things are done differently, and we just ran out of time.

To my knowledge, that just leaves That Place on the Corner, way up in Newington Green, as the only true baby/kids/family cafe in the whole of London! (Though please let me know if I am mistaken here).

Where does this leave my own cafe plans?  I am confident that the demand is there, but I am quickly realising that good will and a good idea are not enough.  A new cafe requires plenty of cash, a huge financial cushion, to keep it afloat in the early years until it has established itself.  Mums on maternity leave are maybe not the biggest spenders out there, so perhaps a wider client base is required.  Which means appealing to commuters, visitors, local business people - the lot!

I'm not exactly going back to the drawing board, but I think this does make the "pop up" model even more appealing.

It's a jungle out there...

Pop-up Monday

Today was a tale of two pop-ups... Pretentious, absolutely, but all in the name of product research!

Let's start with our trip to The Dragon Cafe this afternoon.  This wonderful new venture from The Mental Fight Club team pops up every Monday, from noon to 8pm, in the crypt of St George's church, opposite Borough tube station.  It has been thoughtfully designed for Londoners who struggle with their mental health, providing a warm and welcoming place to come at the start of an otherwise difficult and stressful week.  It offers cheap but tasty food, a seriously relaxed chill-out space, and a programme of free creative activities, well being workshops and so on.  I was thoroughly impressed!  Not exactly a baby-friendly hang-out (lots and lots of temporary AV equipment around), but after our 3 months at the Bethlem the boy and I are pretty hard to faze.  I loved watching him roam around, delighting the other customers with his antics.  We stayed for over three hours in total, and I even managed to enjoy a free fifteen minute neck and back massage. Wonderful!  We had a bowl of delicious homemade soup, a generous fruit salad, and a large fluffy scone - all for the grand total of £3.75.

We only left when the boy started to get a bit too attached to the relaxation zone props...

On to our evening engagement.  My friend and former employer Bea (formerly Of Bloomsbury fame) was cooking up a storm over at a trendy coffee roasting house in Old Street.  Technically this was one of  Young and Foodish's regular "Burger Monday" pop-ups, but really it was Bea's chance to road test some ideas for her new American diner restaurant Stax, opening in the summer.  Having enjoyed Bea's food immensely over the years my expectations were high.  Thankfully we were not at all disappointed!  

The evening started well when the boy decided to have a well-timed nap on the walk over, and we discovered Ozone was a surprisingly buggy-friendly venue with a little alcove for him to sleep.  So we enjoyed our starters of extra buttery spicy popcorn in peace.  

He woke up in time for the main event: hand ground and loosely packed burgers, with all the trimmings, including a proper onion blossom.  For those who haven't spent any time in the American south, this is a whole onion, cut to resemble a blossoming flower, dipped in a rich, slightly spicy batter and deep fried til golden and crisp.  Words cannot describe this heavenly concoction:

As if this wasnt enough, it was all rounded off with a famous "duffin" ice cream sundae.  Amazing.

A productive Monday spent in research-mode, I reckon.

The "social" bit

It's clear to my husband, and indeed anyone who knows me, that I am looking for a new challenge.  While I love looking after my son, tagging along as he explores the world, I need to get my brain cranked up.  This is not an unusual feeling for a SAHM, fifteen months into the job, having seen all her other mummy friends gradually transition back into work.   

I've made a few positive moves in that direction over the last few weeks - starting this blog, for a start.  But my main brain-ache is the cafe project.  A project I can really get my teeth into - and which I will hopefully be proud of.

So my cafe business plan is of the social enterprise variety.  I've thought about this a lot over the last few months, and I want it to benefit people living with and recovering from mental illness.  I've been about as mentally unwell as it is possible to be - strapped to a gurney, locked in a ward, out of my mind and out of control.  But I recovered.  I'd like to show the doubters that recovery is possible, and also help others gain employment and find a place to hang out where they feel at home.

But first steps first.  I can't risk my current good health (not to mention my family's stress levels) by rushing headlong into a business lease, huge bank loan and enormous overdraft.  The undiagnosed (manic) me wouldn't have hesitated, would have taken big risks and listened to no one.   But the new me is going to take things a little slower.  The cafe and community space will still exist - but first as a "pop up" concept, rather than a fixed premises.  As my husband pointed out, another benefit of this approach is the chance to pursue the social mission immediately, without the worry of first meeting large overheads.  How can I devote anything to the social aims, if my main worry is to cover my costs? I may not be able to provide full time employment to anyone at this stage, but I will be able to put on events specifically for people with mental health conditions.  I will still be working towards opening a permanent venue, with staff, but if I can make the pop-up a success then I will be in a much stronger position - both to alleviate my family's genuine concerns, and to face potential investors.

[An aside on "pop ups": they have become achingly trendy recently, and in Central London you can't move for pop-up boutiques, pop-up restaurants, pop-up galleries... But I have come to the conclusion that in the cafe context it is just a trendy term for what our mums would call a "coffee morning".  I'm fine with that.]

What might this look like in reality?

- A brand

- An online presence to promote the brand and details of events: email account, Twitter, Facebook page, website

- Regular (monthly, fortnightly or weekly) coffee and cake events

- Regular support groups (to start with, my new PANDAS group for perinatal mental health conditions)

- Guest speakers and workshops.

Now, it just so happens (what were the chances?!?) that a very similar concept has recently begun - just up the road.  I've been in touch with The Dragon Cafe (http://dragoncafe.co.uk), and hope to meet with them very soon.  I am really open to the idea of collaborating wherever possible, branching it out into a new area.  I don't want to reinvent the wheel, or encroach on an existing enterprise.  We are all part of the mental health community, and together we can do good things.

Location, location, location..

I grew up with Kirsty and Phil - we all learned that in the world of property, location is king.  But does this go for commercial property, as much as residential?

My cafe business plan is shaping up. I have the social enterprise aspects worked out (more on this another time), I know what my USP will be and what we will offer.  But the numbers at the end - daily takings, overheads - surely these depend almost entirely on where the cafe is located.

I know I want it to be in Kennington (London SE11).  For my plan to work, the cafe needs to be close to home. But I also see a real need here for a family friendly place.  There are lots and lots of young families in the area - the boy and I have met most of them at our various play groups and children's centres.  There are also lots of families with buggies passing through Kennington on their way to Waterloo and the South Bank. 

Another reason I love the idea of opening in Kennington, is it seems to be supportive of small independents.  From the likes of Lower Marsh (Greensmiths, I Knit London, Four Corners cafe..) to the range of shop fronts on Windmill Row. Yes there are a ridiculous number of estate agents, but we can skip past them and at least it reduces (slightly) the space available to betting shops.

So I have seen a couple of shop fronts come up for let, and go under offer, since first thinking of this cafe idea.  Commercial property does seem to spring up fast and I guess I need to get myself on the ball.  Considerations for my business include:

- footfall of street

- floor space of premises (I'd like 1000sqft or more - ideally being able to partition off a seperate space for events/groups)

- lay out of floor space (ideally no stairs, and with lots of natural light)

- services and fittings included (is there a kitchen? Adequate toilets? Etc)

- class of use (ideally A3, or potential to change use)

- affordability! This means both annual rent AND any premium involved (the idea of a premium is new to me, but established cafe premises seem to ask for one as a matter of course - often six figures, it turns out!)

So this morning I plucked up the courage to pop in and make enquiries at a little restaurant just around the corner from our house.  I have literally never seen anyone eat in there - so surely the owner might be approachable? Sadly he wasn't in, but I did leave a note.  I like this place for several reasons - it's all on one level, it's close by, it's on the main road but not in any of the fashionable strips so should be affordable. (In the photo below it is the restaurant in the background)

Other options are not so attractive - a larger established restaurant up the road which comes with a whopping premium; the possibility of converting a derelict former council parking office (hmm.. Great vibe!); a good sized closed restaurant, which sadly is underground and not at all buggy-friendly.

Fingers crossed the right place comes up soon!

When does Motivation become Mania?

So, in the aftermath of my postpartum psychosis, I was diagnosed as Bipolar.  To be honest I've embraced the diagnosis, as it has explained a lot about my behaviour in the past (see: http://www.sane.org.uk/how_you_can_help/blogging/show_blog/592 ), as well as giving me and my family more insight into my moods now.  Focusing on the positives, I have not had a major depressive episode for about two years - a major change from life in my twenties.

It does mean that my family - and husband especially - are on constant guard for any signs of hypo mania.  They are anxious I don't take on too much during these high-energy periods and end up crashed-out and stressed.  But for me, it's hard not to embrace the mania.  I get more done, I am highly sociable and engaging, I am full of ideas and creativity - the exact opposite of the dreaded depressed me, who would struggle to leave the house or speak to anyone.

In the interests of science, then, I am going to declare here everything I want to do over the next few months and everything I have already signed up for.  Is it too much?  What, if anything, needs to go?

- Continue to help my son develop and grow (this is always my number 1 priority!).  Physically, he is changing all the time - he took his first steps 10 days ago, and is getting more mobile every day.  Emotionally, he is starting to express his growing frustration at the limits we set him.  He wants more independence, but he is also scared of the possibilities and comes back to cling to me.  I'd like to help him feel more secure, and find better ways of controlling his temper.  We are trying very hard to teach him how to be "gentle, gentle" - especially with the kitten!  To this end, I'd like to help him build his words so he can start to express himself verbally as well as physically.  He has perhaps 8 or 10 words, but does not use them consistently yet.

- Get fit and healthy.  I'd like to drop back from my current size 16 to my optimal pre-baby size 12.  I'm not sure what this means in terms of pounds to lose, as I don't "do" scales or weighing.  I'd just like to wear my old clothes again, and feel good in them.  I've started to go jogging (sometimes with pram, sometimes without!) and I'm going to start going to a local Zumba class.  In the last 10 days or so I have really started to eat better too: lots more fresh fruit and veg, and I've cut out the unhealthy snacks.  We even had quinoa for dinner one night last week!  Early days yet but I am starting to feel better.  To me, good physical health is a good protector against mental illness relapse.

- Progress my business from fledgling plan to an actual premises, with an opening date and financing.  I'm still not sure in what order I need to do everything, but I'd like to get financing agreed in principle, and ideally get my name down for a property.  I have seen several potential premises come and go in the last few months - I need to enter the fray!  I have a few small business/ social enterprise networking seminars to go to over the next few weeks, so hopefully I will pick up some tips and move things on to the next stage.

- I've signed up for several charitable things too.  Helping other mums and dads recover from postnatal mental illness is a big goal of mine (and one of the motivations behind this blog!).  As a SAHM I feel I have some time to devote to this, and I'm very aware of how lucky we have been as a family to get to where we are now.  So I have agreed to do some work for my local NCT branch (help with the newsletter, and with their plans for a PND group).  I have also registered my interest to volunteer for Action on Postpartum Psychosis, and am looking forward to an APP event to learn more about what I can do for them.  Finally, I am planning to set up a South London support group for PANDAS (Pre and Postnatal Deprssion Advice and Support).  All of this could end up taking up a lot of time, but I view it as essential work - to raise awareness of PND and other illnesses, and provide much-needed local support.